Show him your card, smartass.

A Department of Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, 'I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road that's going through here.' The old farmer said, 'OK, but don't go in that field.' The Highways employee said, 'I have the authority of the State of Minnesota to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on your farmland.' So, the old farmer went about his chores. Later, he heard loud screams and saw the Department of Highways employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and the bull was gaining on the employee at every step. The old farmer called out, 'Show him your card, smartass!!'

Another man asks the old farmer near the field, “Excuse me sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The old farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you might even catch the 4:11 train.”