Tuesday, April 19, 2022
Sunday, April 17, 2022
Tuesday, April 12, 2022
Monday, April 11, 2022
Senior Tattoo idea
Turning 80 and thinking about what tattoo to get? You might want to consider your name and address...
Sunday, April 10, 2022
You look nice. Where did you go?
"Walmart, she replied."
They misspelled my name
"After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery. Halfway across, he’s startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone. “I thought you were a ghost,” says the relieved teen. “What are you doing working so late?” “Oh, those idiots,” grumbles the old man. “They misspelled my name!”
Thursday, April 7, 2022
Wednesday, April 6, 2022
Amazingly simple home remedies
Tuesday, April 5, 2022
Sunday, April 3, 2022
Do it almost every night
Two senior citizens were bragging about their sex lives in the elderly homes. "Can you still do it? I have sex with my wife twice a week. How many can you do?" "Oh, I do it almost every night of the week!" "Almost every night?" "Yup! Almost Monday, Almost Tuesday, Almost Wednesday..."
Be back shortly
Sorry haven’t been posting as much. Only be posting jokes, which I can do from my hospital bed on my cellphone. I know you miss the funny photos and graphics. Been in the hospital 4 days now with some health issues. I always said, once you’re over 60 the warranty is up. That’s when everything starts going wrong. Say a little prayer for me folks.
Saturday, April 2, 2022
How can I get into heaven?
What are Grandparents?
Friday, April 1, 2022
Size 34 underwear
The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit.. it fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck." Joe was surprised, That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years. Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure." The salesman said, "Let's see... size 36." Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS